Archaeology

So... it's been more than a year, if I figure from the World Water Day OML show that really signalled the beginning of the end. Nearly a year of letting go of a malfunctioning relationship, of panicking at the sudden aloneness of it all, of rediscovering the shreds of my self-esteem, and healing them back into something resembling a whole.

I've faced down the bad mojo, wiped the bad memories from Henry House and as of last week, Rogue's. I'm able to be friends with Sean now and am nearly ready to give up the unreasonable hate against Megan, who after all, was fairly external to it all. Meh, maybe I'll hang on to that... I'm not a saint, and it makes me feel a bit more human to know there's someone I'd like to beat the crap out of.

What a year. What a lot of excavating. And just this weekend, just recently, I've rediscovered those two great pieces of advice I used to live by:

When it comes right down to it, there's always one person you can count on, and that's yourself. Somehow that sounds much more positive now.

Always think first: WWJD? --> what would Jenny do? Need to see more Jenny.

Most of me to sunny countrysides

And while we're being all retro... lol...

Harrumph

"Not as interesting as a hockey game."

!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently Spryfield is burning. I've got my fingers crossed for Noel's family. :(

Distraction

Keeping myself distracted from all the unwise things I should not be doing is getting a bit easier. Or maybe this is just a lull. Although my teeth are ground down from gritting them, otherwise things are not bad.

Last night, for instance. Parent teacher was nice, good to hear Maddie is catching up some with her reading (I knew she would)--and great to hear that she's such a good presenter. Yes, she will be a brilliant teacher some day. Or actress! -- but that's my vanity projecting.

Green Drinks was a good time as usual, nice to catch up with 'the lawyer boys' I never see otherwise, and the random grab bag of others. I was very rude in not making more time to talk to Tyler and Sharon, though, and that just hit me. Hm. Anyway, it was fun and trivia at Rogue's was good silliness and not *too* difficult, although plenty challenging. Good times.

Tonight I'll clean, do taxes, a bit of freelance... and probably cave. But hopefully it won't come to that.

My current Facebook status is a lie

Yeah, let's face it... my mind is generally preoccupied with men, environment, music, movies, and books. Drink is just an occasion facilitator.

Considering actually browsing vampire personals. What the hell, can't be any worse than regular ones.

One night off the rack

Couldn't sleep at all last night, despite extraordinary sleepiness. Finally gave up and got up at 5. Gave three presentations today on Birds /Conservation to grade 3s at Park West. Really nice school, and what a great bunch of kids. In the first class alone, I had kids telling me about birds / their homes in Algiers, USA, India, Jordan, Egypt, Jamaica, Chile, Korea, and more. One class. And all in very very good English.

I had an overwhelming wave of homesickness / nostalgia walking the powerline trail. I miss Clayton Park more than I'd realized. I guess I lived there longer than anywhere else in Halifax, including here. Must talk to Julian about reconsidering possibility of move to that 'hood. Funny, had sudden sharp memory of walking that path daily, thinking about Scooter when I lived with Erin. Misty water-coloured memories. It was a good reminder that this current situation is not new, at all, and change will come.

Awww.... Scooter. Sigh. You'll always be a great memory.

So on the way home decided to take a night off from the frantic social scrambling. Tucking in to do laundry, dishes, watch Buffy...

Interesting

Lots of visitors, no comments. I don't bite (much), and I love having people read. Hi! *waves*

Daydreams

Are eating my brain. Someone send ginseng or ritalin. K thnx?

Yeah, I'm just busting to write out what I'm thinking about three different people right now, and I'm thwarted by the publicness of this forum. Conversely, that's what I like about it.

YOU--I wish you happiness, but I'm not your fallback.
YOU--Yeah, I could go for a nice cup of tea one of these mornings. Probably won't follow up though.
YOU--I'm glad we're friends.

insane weekend

In scattered bullet point fashion, a recap:

• Funny long car trip to Moncton with texting and silliness. The other car drank wine. We were good.
• Bar in Moncton was nigh on empty. Kept up eye contact with random geek boy all night, just for fun.
• Danced like asses.
• John Prine and Springsteen covers perfect complement to Stanfield's music.
• Chacaron. Snort.
• Ken's got one whack of big furniture. BIG. Furniture.
• Must hang out with Helen more.
• Nice to get to know Angela K and Laura.
• Musicians + late night + too much beers and freakin 'banana bombs' = stinky house in the morning.
• Mormons!
• Sally Ann smells like a hangover coming out my mouth.
• Found the Dixie Lee.
• Went shopping. Thought I didn't look too bad. Dressing room mirror technology is progressing.
• Metal show - great music. Seriously.
• These guys were pretty phenom. Mighty cute guitarist (heh)... pretty cute bass player too. (Married, I think, aren't they all?)
  
• Terratomb made me laugh. Perhaps that wasn't the right reaction, but I enjoyed the show!
  
• Rocked The Boots. Quite happy with appearance.
• Met Randy Crust. Why do i keep saying that?
  
• Reaped all the downside of being 'the girl' without any of the kiss-good-night benefits. Yippee! However, did not get beaten up in the bathroom, so that's something. Something weird in that sitch. Can't put finger on it.
• P is very nice. Must tell him about my favourite Police song, though, just to help keep those boundaries clear.
• Crazy old guy dancing like a basketball guard blocking. Elbow --> bloody nose. I laughed.
• Men with long hair EVERYWHERE. Sigh. Moan.
• "Platinum Blonde" guy liked my button. LMAO.
• Parrsboro drive (through economy, glenholme, great village, five islands, moose river, etc) still feels like coming home and reconnects me to a rural part of my soul.
• Good music makes the drive nice.
• Hanging out with Sean has become very comfortable in a non-taxing, no-drama way.
• Maddie had fun and got to see Aunt Shirley and Uncle Ernie.
• Mentally asked Aunt Shirley to say to Mom. I think she got it.
• Nice to see Billy & Nancy, and always inspiring to hang out with Cathy & Linda, who will tackle ANYTHING.
• Recovered nicely from Saturday night's loss of balance.
• Actually did some work last night too.
• Need. Sleep.