Orlando is the latest, but let’s start closer to home: there
was Raymond Taavel, beaten to death by someone suffering mental illness. Scott
Jones, forgiving the man who stabbed him for being gay, severing his spine. A
wider circle: all the missing or murdered aboriginal women; the missing and
murdered sex workers. Harley Lawrence, burned to death in a bus shelter for the
crime of being reprehensibly … homeless. Hate crimes targeting Jewish, Muslim
and Christian peoples.
I am a middle-class, middle-aged white woman, from a
Christian tradition. Theoretically, none of this directly impacts me. But how
do I (how does any mother) explain to my daughter what causes a psychopathic
person’s evil act? How do I explain that my child, who will also occupy my
demographic divide, owes the world an obligation to spread love and fight evil?
Orlando ripped me to shreds. We’ve all seen the horror
movies – a homicidal maniac tearing through a crowd, the victims huddled in the
bathroom trying to survive. We know it will not end well.
I am an ally. I have, all my life, had friendships with gay
and lesbian individuals of different races, ages, nationalities. Being an ally means not
making this tragedy about me. It means accepting and holding a place for all of
my friends’ reactions – fury, sadness, defiance, inability to cope – holding that
place and supporting, and I do that.
But this is about me too. I live in this world. We are all,
fundamentally, people. As a woman, I have a sense of what it is to be seen as
an abstract representation rather than an individual. I treasure my LGBTQ friends for their resiliency,
their positivity, the magic they often bring to my world – in all different
ways, because every LGBTQ person is still an individual!
But I need to personalize this, or I will feel unempowered
to try to fix it. And when politicians moronically feel the need to capitalize
on a tragedy by tying it to an overarching narrative they have built about Evil
Brown People, or This is Why Everyone Should Have a Gun, or God Will Sort it
Out, I need to be able to direct my own anger. I can fix this. WE can fix this –
all of us. Demand a better world. Support mental health initiatives. Fight the wealth
disparity that leads to sick communities. Love everyone. Let black feminists
have their own truth, let disabled veterans have their truth, let Muslim homosexuals
have their truth. Understand. Make others understand. Find your fight, and
fight it.
Hug someone near you, even if (maybe ESPECIALLY if) they are
an angry loner. Love is love. Paint everything rainbow.
