reconsidering

Sometimes I look back on past posts and think... I really oughta delete that! But you know, that is how I was feeling / thinking then, and I can't totally invalidate that. We can't always edit and refine who we are. People are messy. Shit happens.

However, dear silent and invisible Internet gods, please be assured that I love who I am. I am happy, fundamentally, and in something approaching equilibrium. I am discovering how specific I have to be with what I ask for, and how many friends I have, and how many are out there waiting to be discovered.

Still might be nicer with some action, but... I'm working on that too.

How Novel

Really thinking about Nanowrimo this year. But to get there I'd better spend some of October warming up the writing muscles. Which means more time spent blogging, thinking--and less drinking! :) Fun as that is.

Whirling down a vortex I've
Been here before does
My blood betray me does
My weakness smash itself into
That tungsten again and again, losing tiny feathers
Each time?
All I want is genius
All I want is that shiny
Gold cup and all that it
Reflects.

I refuse to talk about anything else going on in my life right now because I'm going to start forcing myself to focus. It has nothing to do with fear of failure. Rejection slips come in many forms and they are essential to one's growth as a writer. Perhaps I've paid enough rejection dues this year and distilling my worth to words will reap big rewards.