Stupid dumb hairy beasts don't know what "environment" means

http://undeathmatch.wordpress.com/2009/11/18/vampires-hate-the-environment/

Alright, Kimberly. You asked for it.

Werewolves are animals. Arguing they are more ‘green’ is a non-starting argument. Rats and venomous treefrogs are more environmental than people, but I’m not counting on them to save us from ecological disaster, either.

The root of all environmental problems we face today is overpopulation. This is a popular debate amongst environmentalists, but most that I know (and I know a LOT of environmentalists) will agree. Too many people, and most of them 100% unable to live in accordance with nature, is the biggest problem, and a major foundation of climate change, pollution, clearcutting, and on and on.

Vampires and werewolves both tackle this problem, by killing and eating people, yes.

HOWEVER, literature supports that werewolves are far more likely to bite a victim and let them get away. Vampires are very choosy about who they turn... werewolves, being mostly big dumb droolly dogs, do not have this discriminating approach. In an area with werewolves hunting, suddenly you have great wide swathes of hormonally charged Jekyll and Hyde types, alternately getting crazy hairy and thus filling landfills with disposable razors, and then feeling remorseful and confused, and thus consuming large quantities of ice cream and cheesecake, which are usually not locally produced.

These uninhibited man-beasts (and woman-beasts) breed without a care. Endangered? Ha! Spill a bottle of wine on a full moon... problem solved.

And, as you pointed out, my esteemed blog colleague, when they do stop acting like gambolling puppies and actually feed, they consume the entire person. Because of this, they need only feed infrequently.
As population control goes, this method sucks.

Speaking of sucks, let us consider now the case of the vampire, arguably the natural cultural evolution of the human race, instead of a devolution to our forest-dwelling ancestors. Vampires can kill and feed on dozens, if not hundreds, of victims in one feeding spree. THAT, my friend, is population control. And yes, they leave the exsanguinated carcass, to provide sustenance for animals and carrion birds, and the soil, unlike those selfish bastards, the werewolves.

They absolutely do not need lights or transportation due to their natural gifts. Yes, vampires are snappy dressers, and there is no ecological sin in that. They take care of their clothing, often making it last for centuries, unlike the vermin-infested careless werewolves, who bust out of their clothes and wreck them regularly.

Hey werewolves.... THIS is why you can’t have nice things.

Vampires share Homo sapiens’ love of cultural artefacts, books, music, science, and art. They have achieved the perpetual youth and stunning birth control success our society treasures. Who better to lead us toward a sustainable future? Who else are people going to follow?

A pack of dogs?

Pffft.