How often do I allow circumstances to dictate my path? Answer: All the time. If it can and does happen, does it mean it's meant to happen? I'm challenging all my assumptions. What do I want in my life? I hate hard questions. I hate having to answer them, but I feel like it's time I made conscious choices instead of allowing myself to be bumped along in the stream. It's ok to enjoy the hollows and the warm spots but then propel oneself onto a destination.
Are destinations all they're cracked up to be? Is it the journey or the end?
Until now I've tried to keep my focus on the journey. Has that served? I've had great experiences. Is having goals exclusive of this approach?
And in a much more specific sense, do I want to focus on finding a real relationship? Or enjoy the odd bounties that drift by me?
All of which does not take away from a very golden and a tiny bit bittersweet weekend. For once I am not struggling for definitions or parameters, but that small part of my mind that calculates such things says this is not where I belong.
But for the affection and comfort, it's good (for now). Just don't let me care.
I have opinions on things and I like to talk about them.
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