Saturday evening I went to the Tattoo Festival. For more than 20 years I've been 'thinking about' getting a tattoo. Procrastinating, debating, and waffling, more like. The problem has been an inability to commit, to say YES, this is the design I want to live with for the rest of my life. I think I'm fully settled but then, I think, what if I get this done and it turns out poorly? What if I hate it, once I'm stuck with it?
How did I ever get married?
I can remember this same debate around piercings (still having that one, although, y'know, around 39 it starts to be a moot point), extreme haircuts, career decisions... anything that might swing me out of the safe centre I'm comfortable in. The times in my life I've been proudest of myself have been when I've risked big: when I left Julian because I knew it was right, even though it wasn't expected or easy; when I left the NSTU for Clean NS, despite cut in pay, benefits, and trading full time for contract.
I want to be extreme. I want to be fully immersed in something. I want to be sleeve-tatted, dangerous. I want to be comfortable taking risks. I'm sick of being wimpy.
A tattoo should be an easy start. And maybe from there I can tackle all my other commitment issues. Sigh.
This complacent centre is what's pissing me off about this election too. God love the Greens, because at least they are willing to say something. I guess it's the old Bobby McGee story... freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. The three main parties all have too much to lose right now to risk saying... anything. Except negative bullshit about each other. ARGH. Take a fucking stand!!
I need to build more risk into my life.
I have opinions on things and I like to talk about them.
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