Insanity

You know that old definition of insanity, trying the same thing again and again and expecting a different result? Yeah.

I believe I am going to succumb to my inner 15 yr old, who desperately wants to join the ever-expanding worldwide pack of 15 yr old girls in one great fervent wish:

I want a vampire.

Of course I do. It's what every woman wants. A man with a dark side, the potential to be a dangerous animal, who is willing to master that and overcome it for her. A protector, divinely beautiful, wise, strong. Mine is a bit more Angel than Edward, to be sure... perhaps with even a dash of Lestat.

But if I give in and admit this, then it makes it much much easier accept that these mortal men around me see me only as a funny, jolly companion. Yes, kids, we know what 'jolly' is a code word for, that word I'll never use. Anyway, they are only mortals. The vampire can see in me the passionate, deeply loving creature that flesh and humanity conceals, and will cherish me all the more.

If one is going to fantasize, why waste time with the down-scale?

'Cute' used to be my most-hated four letter word... damned with faint praise, and all that. I believe now it's 'nice'. How gratifying it would be to be a total bitch for a day. Of course, it won't happen. But I'll secretly bare my fangs.


PS- None of this is meant to disrespect or take away from any of the handsome, lovely, sweet men I've had the privilege of meeting and hanging out with this year. I am compelled to say that because I'm nice, there's no fighting it. I'd much rather be reckless and cold.

PPS - Vampires aren't warm to curl up with. Maybe I'll rethink this. I could, I suppose, settle for Lemmy.